Serious business. Sorry.

[thatrcooper]

So... you guys are pretty great. Just so you know. :) Depression sucks, and sometimes it hits with no warning and drains you, and it makes trying to fight your way out of the hole so much more difficult. Then, you know, everything in the news. (My Tumblr right now is sadness and outrage, and I understand if people unfollow me or avoid me for a while. You have to do what's right for you.) I didn't intend to talk about any of that, by the way, or my life at the moment, but not acknowledging it felt weird. You can't be struggling not to fall deeper into depression and despair, and then learn that someone lost that fight, and not be upset about it, even if you didn't know that person.

I'm not going to go into details. I am just going to repost something I've posted around before.

7 Cups of Tea for online support and help, or just someone to listen

Most countries have their own suicide prevention groups. Look them up, bookmark their websites, program their numbers into your cell phone. Maybe you don't need them now, but you might someday, and I want to know people have them available. Okay?

Anyway. I'm making myself cry now, so I'll stop. (Believe it or not, it's a good thing I'm crying.)


Uh, I originally started this to share "official" things with you all. It seems kind of stupid to talk about right now though. Maybe I will do another post over the weekend. I did some shorts in an effort to claw my way back to the surface. I'll probably share those too. :) Thank you all again for your kindness, and I hope you're all well.

Comments

[xelloss-poo.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

<3

[kris-t-p.livejournal.com]

Take care of you. We lost my uncle to depression, so if there is ever anything I can do, please please please don't hesitate to ask.

Would he have reached out to someone if so many IDIOTS didn't equate depression with weakness? People who live with depression are so strong! They carry a burden I cannot imagine living with. I wish people would admire the strength it takes to live with depression like they do the strength it takes to live with cancer.

Best wishes!

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

I had to listen to people calling it selfish and weak all day at work today, and it was just me and one other person quietly arguing against that idea.

Sigh. People can be exhausting.


This actually isn't as bad as I have experienced. But it hit me just before a bunch of other bad things, and well... yeah. It's gonna take a bit. I do feel slightly better though. :)

Thank you.

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

You are strong and loved and needed. Just wanted that out there. ::hugs you:;

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

I love you!

Honestly, I am feeling better now.

(I sound like John Astin on Night Court. Remember that?
He always said, I'm feeling much better now. http://youtu.be/LWz-tBU6_L0 )

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I have never seen that show but I enjoyed the clip :-)

[chrysalis1975]

*HUGS* even though I'm only an OL follower, I'm truly here if ever you want to share or vent. Been going down a bit of rabbit hole myself, depression wise, and I don't want to lose you :'( take care of yourself & reach out if you feel comfortable...

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

Don't go down the hole! Sometimes you sort of stumble in, I know, but try not to sink any further if you can. There's always Tumblr for a distraction. I know Tumblr can be weird, and I can't guarantee that my Tumblr will be interesting, but there's bound to be a few to brighten your day.

And thank you. :)

[ice-is-melting.livejournal.com]

I read Casper gets his wish. I was wonderful. Casper's head was a very familiar place. I love seeing a happy ending after so much self doubt.

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying so! I'm continually surprised at how many people buy that story. It's such a bitty thing, and so silly. But I suppose doubt is universal. :)

Hang in there - please!

[(Anonymous)]

Ok, pretty selfish on my part because I love your work. I'm rereading A Boy and His Dragon again, also love Sweet/Geek, Wealth of Unsaid Words, and...well,everything I've read of yours so far.
But really my comment is because the ignorant jerks need to be shouted down and, well, smacked upside the head a couple zillion times.

The other commenters are totally right about your strength and I'd like to add one more analogy. Nobody tells diabetics that they are selfish, self-centered, or just need to snap out of it and start producing more insulin, do they? Ok yes, there is the odd faction of "it's just a small piece of cake, no big deal if you eat it, right?" But really - we are talking about chemical imbalances that can't be balanced through willpower.

So hang in there, do whatever you need to do to ride it out, and do your best to minimize time spent with toxic people.

The world is blessed to have you in it. And don't worry if that doesn't make you feel better when you're depressed, because all the kind words in the world won't change brain chemicals (or insulin, for that matter!)

Re: Hang in there - please!

[r-cooper.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
I don't want people to worry. I just... have a lot going on and got some unpleasant news in addition to what has been going on in the news, and I did that thing where I slid down, really fast.
I am not a hundred percent right now, but I have stopped veering down at least. My mood swings aren't usually so
sudden or dramatic, so it took me by surprise as well. And I've finally gotten myself back to the point of going through the motions, and taking care of myself. All of that is very good. You guys have all been very helpful and sweet. :)
(And I like anyone who likes Everett and Alex or Tommy and Tavio.)