the journal of r. cooper

So... you guys are pretty great. Just so you know. :) Depression sucks, and sometimes it hits with no warning and drains you, and it makes trying to fight your way out of the hole so much more difficult. Then, you know, everything in the news. (My Tumblr right now is sadness and outrage, and I understand if people unfollow me or avoid me for a while. You have to do what's right for you.) I didn't intend to talk about any of that, by the way, or my life at the moment, but not acknowledging it felt weird. You can't be struggling not to fall deeper into depression and despair, and then learn that someone lost that fight, and not be upset about it, even if you didn't know that person.

I'm not going to go into details. I am just going to repost something I've posted around before.

7 Cups of Tea for online support and help, or just someone to listen

Most countries have their own suicide prevention groups. Look them up, bookmark their websites, program their numbers into your cell phone. Maybe you don't need them now, but you might someday, and I want to know people have them available. Okay?

Anyway. I'm making myself cry now, so I'll stop. (Believe it or not, it's a good thing I'm crying.)


Uh, I originally started this to share "official" things with you all. It seems kind of stupid to talk about right now though. Maybe I will do another post over the weekend. I did some shorts in an effort to claw my way back to the surface. I'll probably share those too. :) Thank you all again for your kindness, and I hope you're all well.

I have been going through... things... so I apologize for not being around much. The fun part of being crazy is that I get to say things like that and y'all have to be understanding about it. But yeah, life, seriously. (When you are playing "I am a rock" by Simon & Garfunkel over and over again it's maybe time to emerge from your fortress deep and mighty). I am working on being a person again, just in time for the holidays.

In writing news I finally got something from Dreamspinner about A Boy and His Dragon. I assume if I'm just getting the cover specs sheet about the artwork that it won't be coming out until January at least. But I don't have a definite date yet so bear with me.

Meanwhile, I should reformat that short story I did a while back and hopefully get it up on Smashwords soon. And I still want to do something for the food bank Second Harvest for Thanksgiving. I don't know what would raise the most money. I was thinking of maybe writing something in small sections and posting a new section every time someone donates to Second Harvest (even a dollar) or takes a picture of themselves putting cans or boxes of food into a donation bin at their local grocery store. You know, holding your story hostage until people get fed. Something?

I really need that secretary my third grade teacher said I would need in life now. Plz. I also need to channel my inner Will and go dancing. I haven't in over a year and that is just wrong. If only I had friends...

Ah well. STORIES. Let me think of some.

I've posted about this before but consider this one official. In the middle of June I am going to offer up my services for a good cause. I will write a new original story with a minimum of 5k words (I say minimum because I tend to go over word limits very quickly) to the highest bidder.

--Bidding will take place in an entry here in this livejournal, because most other places will not allow anonymous bidding and some people might want to do that and I like people to have options. :)

--Bidders can PM me with their contact info if they don't want it public, otherwise it should go in the comment/response post, along with the amount of their bid. The starting price is $5 (exchange rates apply).

--I'll leave the auction up for five days. Sunday June 10 through Friday June 15.

--If you are the highest bidder by the time the auction closes, I will contact you and you can give me a prompt (if you wish) or not, but either way I will write something after you show proof of donation (My deadline to finish will be probably the end of July).

--By prompt I mean do you want something fluffy and sweet or something darker, or a taste for twinks, or shifters, or cops, that sort of thing. Not a complete story outline, that's limiting and no fun for either of us. (This is not a carte blanche though, I'm not writing anything underage, for example, unless you request some kind of YA. You get the idea.) The story will be dedicated to you, all pretty like, with your name at the top and everything. :)



Charities:

--Again, I like people to have options, so I have a choice of charities. Two local (for me) but relevant and one charity with a slightly wider net.

Shanti Shanti is a San Francisco organization that provides housing and support for people with life-threatening illnesses, including HIV/AIDS.

The San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community Center The mission of the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) Community Center is to connect our diverse community to opportunities, resources and each other to achieve our vision of a stronger, healthier, and more equitable world for LGBT people and our allies.

And then the NOH8 camnpaign. The NOH8 Campaign is a charitable organization whose mission is to promote marriage, gender and human equality through education, advocacy, social media, and visual protest.

Torquere Books is also donating to NOH8 this year, and I want to write something for them, but my work schedule is crazy right now and I might not get to it. But it's a cause worth giving to even if you don't get fiction out of it. Buy These Stories



Seriously. Even if no one wants to bid on me, give to these charities, or anything like them that is closer to home for you.

I need a charity icon.

Guys. Guys, there is drama going on. So much that I'm aware of it in my little corner of nowhere where I hide and write silly things about librarians and twinks who can't cook and gamblers and such. I'm not going to call people out, because I don't do that unless I am very, very sure of what I am saying and absolutely certain that the people involved deserve it (and that I am ready for the backlash/shitstorm that always follows), but I have been reading it all and wow, wow. Once again the internet has forgotten that it is run by Real People.

You know, Real People. The ones who read and review stories and who create websites and yes, who also write books. Those are all Things That Are Done By Real People. (And if I need to define Real People *sigh*, then let's say that they are living, breathing people, just like you or me, with responsibilities and jobs and tissue in their pocket for their allergies and sisters who bug them about getting out of the house more and some tasty tequila and lime in the pantry calling their name. Real People...with feelings. If you prick them, do they not bleed?).

The thing with this cray internets of ours is that though it *never forgets*, it also allows for a *lot* of anonymity. And it's a hell of a lot easier to do things we wouldn't do in real life when we aren't looking someone in the eye when we do it. That includes things on both sides of this particular fence, things from potentially plagiarizing (or at least possibly just being unoriginal) to flat out publicly accusing someone of something without knowing all the facts, legal or otherwise.

It's a lot like reviews to me. Years ago when I used to review, the rule was that you *could* go intensely negative if you truly felt the book deserved it, but you had to remember when you did that it had a lasting impact on both you and the author reviewed. I'm not talking sales. I'm taking about what putting out (sometimes unwarranted) negativity does to your name and reputation and what it does to someone who may or may not have written a shitty book (or done a shitty thing) but who might have learned and developed and gotten *better* if the review had been less about being funny and harsh and more about the book itself. Sure, you can call the main characters douchebags if they are douchebags, but what exactly are you adding to the debate, to the creative process, to the community you are a part of? Not to mention that the author's reaction should always be in the back of your mind. (And if I have to explain *that* I will, but honestly, *sigh* again? That means- Did you say that to shock them? To make others laugh? Or did you really feel that, and if so, why? Please 'xplain.)

Acts, words said, thoughts posted, these things all have repercussions. You might not feel them right away in imaginary, anonymous internet-land, but they exist. Stolen ideas (whether this is the case or not) hurt readers and cost authors their audience. They create a sense of betrayal that affects not just the accused or the guilty but everyone around them, including everyone in their field. And public accusations (baseless or not) are not things to be taken lightly and certainly aren't something to be done in the heat of the moment. They can ruin careers and lives and if not that, then at the very least they can ruin someone's joy in something that *should* be joyous.

So yeah, my thoughts, such as they are. A drop in a vast ocean. OR, tl;dr--the next time you are going to write or post something on the internet, imagine you are looking in the face of the person you are writing about, and imagine they are looking back at you.