Sometimes I wonder how much I ought to talk about, what sort of writer-blogger should I be? Share everything personal? Share nothing personal? Something in the middle? Only positive things? Then I think, meh, girl, focus on the stories. But that does leave weirdness that still has to be addressed.

Like right now I'm in a weird in between place with my stories. Normally I am down for in between and undefined, but other times a definition is useful. Am I a writer? (Or at least, a paid one?) Am I better off as someone with a real life, outside of my head, job who only writes when she can, as a hobby? I know some people like my stories, but most people hate or are indifferent to them, from what I can tell. I am, and always have been, a weirdo outsider. So really not being hugely successful or popular isn't a new thing for me. (Always the weird bridesmaid, never the weird bride). But I've reached a point where I have to do the math (ugh) and figure out what's best for me, financially and mentally. So I'm kind of in a strange headspace right now. It doesn't mean I'm not writing or doing anything, just that my mood has once again swung down and I'm not in condition for a lot of things at the moment. Real life can wear a person down, sometimes.

For something less melancholy to talk about, we could discuss buttsex in m/m romance fiction. The expectations for it and the ways it's used and written. But uuuggghhhh that sounds like a deep discussion (no pun intended) and I don't think I can handle it yet. I only mention it at all because of Wicklow and his touch/trust issues.

Speaking of Wicklow. Did I ever tell you guys how Lucy and I like to discuss an event that happened before the book, when all of D.C. was convinced Rhoades was already sleeping with Wicklow (even if they didn't know their exact relationship or what Wicklow does for a living)? And some political rival of Rhoades' attempts to go after Wicklow to get at Rhoades, and Rhoades finds out and slowly, thoroughly, ruthlessly, destroys that person to make it clear to everyone the consequences of trying to go after his people/his Wicklow? And he never mentions a thing to Wicklow? He simply continues to invite him over in the evenings, and feed him and care for him and watch him when he thinks Wicklow won't see?

Only Wicklow always sees more than he lets on, and he hears the rumors. He doesn't think Rhoades did it for him, exactly. He thinks Rhoades was protecting the team, but this is Wicklow and he doesn't like debt. And secretly he is pleased Rhoades did this merciless thing for them. He's proud of him, fond in a way Wicklow doesn't have words for. So he decides to reward Rhoades, in his way, and holds still when Rhoades watches him and lets him look. Until he's shivering and unduly warm and confused because he thought he was doing Rhoades a favor but he is the one who feels better with this unspoken thing shimmering between them. Rhoades is looking and for the first time, although Wicklow doesn't say it or even think it directly, Wicklow is considering what Rhoades wants from him. And he is warm, and he is not scared. Perhaps he ought to be. He knows what Rhoades is capable of. But he is safe there in Rhoades' library. Rhoades will never hurt him.



And by the way, thank you, anyone who reads my stuff, and especially those who send me comments. It's honestly one of the greatest feelings to hear about how someone stayed up late to finish your story, or how it made them cry. Sure, I respond awkwardly and probably always will. But it's genuinely moving to know somebody liked something I did that much. You guys are great. :)

I never know what to say in these blog posts. Sure, if you want fannish squeeing and random pictures of food and porn there's always my Tumblr, but an author-y blog posts people are supposed to be more author-y, have things to say about writing or the world in general that aren't just notices about upcoming release dates, all that. Only honestly I know next to nothing about the publishing world, and I feel like everything else comes out in my stories anyway. What does that leave? Just the updates. *sigh* But, you know, they are exciting to me and exciting things are fun to share.

First things first, everyone knows I posted a free short story, right? Well, I did. It features a slightly cracky (a lot cracky) fairy tale version of two characters who have been TORMENTING ME FOR OVER A YEAR NOW.

Ahem. I suppose that is something to talk about. Some stories are like that. You know exactly what is going on and you're compelled to write them as quickly as you can get the words out and you remain obsessed with them even once you are done. Wicklow and Rhoades were like that for me. But other stories are just a big mess. They keep growing and nothing ends up as you originally planned until you finally make yourself finish after many stops and starts and then suddenly it's exactly how you wanted it. But different. Will and Charlie were more like that. Er, Nathaniel and Tim are apparently like that as well. They insisted on writing themselves and that is always a struggle.

And can I tell you how much I regret giving werewolves quick healing powers and a fast refractory period? And how much I regret writing a sexual frustrated, *incredibly* confused young werewolf? Because I have spent hours upon hours upon hours writing porn and I'm not done yet! At least they have kind of reached an understanding, the two of them. Soon Tim might even understand what cuddles are.

(He needs lessons. Wicklow, now, you could give Wickow cuddle lessons and he'd still stare at you like you're crazy... So, I write characters with space and touching issues. So I write characters with issues. Ah well. That isn't news.)

Hmm. Updates. So. Wicklow and Rhoades were accepted (yaaaaaaay!) Preliminary title: Wicklow's Odyssey. That might change. Expect Civil War Steampunk sometime in July or early August.

Meanwhile, I was sent notices that audiobooks are going to happen for both, "A Boy and His Dragon" and "Play It Again, Charlie." I even got to listen to some samples. That was thrilling! And anxiety-inducing. And strange. And fantastic. And I don't generally listen to audiobooks so I hope those turn out okay. I will let you guys know what they are coming out.

I continue to write Tim and Nathaniel (working title(s): Little Wolf. Or The Alpha of Wolf's Paw. Or What Wolves Do. Or... something chess related. Because when you think werewolves, you think, chess.) Getting closer to the end. Woo hoo! I still don't know what to do about my short Beings stories. I want to write a few more and put them all together, but then again I don't know if Dreamspinner would want that. I'm such a weird writer.

And um, oh hey. Conventions and things. Fun? Something people in more than a hang around the comic book booths kind of way? What kind of conventions do people go to where they want to interact with authors? *Do* they want to interact with authors? (Or m/m authors for that matter?) What's that like? I have only ever gone to one convention and it was a very large one and very expensive and well... I did not enjoy it much despite my nerdiness. So I am trying to see the appeal. They aren't something you can explore on a whim when you are on a budget.

Depends on what you want to get out of them I suppose. y/y? y/n?

Getting back into writing can be difficult, so I tried to do a little something and ended up with two steampunk/not really steampunk stories. One of them is basically an alternate universe Will and Charlie. I'm not sure what to do with them. They aren't very good, at least, not from what I can tell, but I am kind of fond of them. It's very discouraging though, to see all that effort just sitting there in two random, blah stories. But hey, at least they got me kind of excited about werewolves again.

In other story type news, I put Ideas of Sin (oh dear, that old thing) up on Smashwords. If you are hankering for some French corsair with daddy issues captures bookish but fine English piece of ass, then that is where you should go. Also featuring 17th century stuff and religious debate and booty (pirate sex pun!) and very bad things and lots more sex. Six people have bought it so far, which tickles me to no end for some reason. SIX BRAVE SOULS. (I am so sorry. I wrote it years ago. But there's porn!)

Also, to the people who follow me on Tumblr or read these posts on Goodreads, you know I have no idea how I am supposed to act in these spaces, so you get this. You're welcome. ;)

Have some steampunk-ish valet-ness starring a slightly different Will and slightly different Charlie:

( Read more... )

Quick update:

The charity thing is moving forward, so next week is the starting day.


Meanwhile, Dreamspinner is releasing an anthology in August called "Animal Magnetism" about pets bringing people together and it's going to feature a story of mine. I don't know if they are going to keep my crazy title though, but just in case it's, "Butterbean and The Pretty Princess Make a Home". Crack! More later.


Also everyone has seen this? Tag me I post because shy guy/model y/y???

There is never enough sleep. Where is all the sleep and who is hoarding it?


Where have I been? Working. Not writing, then writing, sort of (pretty boys and snuggly bears and kittens, people would want that?), editing dragons in love, then wondering where on earth one might get a writer type mentor, for mentoring purposes. Because one has questions, sometimes. (Sorry, I am tired, I might make even less sense than usual.) This is a confusing new world and I don't think the rules are set in place yet, but surely there must be some out there who have already learned the things I need to learn? Yes?

Ahem. Business. People have been asking if I would/could put all my free reads snippets up on Amazon or Smashwords so they could be downloadable. This hadn't occurred to me as something to do. (At all. I need to work on that technology stuff). But, yeah, I might, as soon as I get my shit together and edit them (some of them were written as commentfic and come complete with typos) and get cover art and try to arrange them as a collection that makes sense or at least looks pretty.

Others have been asking if there is anything else (aw! flatterers! you guys!) or will I write anything else like those free reads, or actual sequels. I might. I like commentfic as an exercise and I've usually spent so much time with my characters that writing their little scenes and spin offs and AUs is fun for me. As for regular sequels... not in the traditional sense, but I'd like some of my characters to make appearances elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I am planning on doing a charity original story, so anyone interested get your budget in order and your potential story prompts in mind. (Dunno about sequels though. I might ask do new ideas only, though in the same universe might be okay). My schedule in the next few weeks is going to get bananas, so I might announce it all and then open the bidding sometime near the end of May and then give myself a deadline like July 1.

You are interested in all this babble, I'm sure. lol. I'll move on.




Yay for equal marriage rights! Now for equal rom-coms and bridal registry!

I can't help myself. That nervous energy has to go somewhere.

I'm feeling fine and you?

Does anyone do this like Irene Dunne? We need a new version of her.

(I just post these things out of love... and to shame dlasta for not having seen them yet).

Judy Holliday in Born Yesterday The "dumb" blonde done to perfection.

The Lady Eve Don't think Will wouldn't do this. (Until the end anyway, when he wouldn't be able to stop smiling)

Okay, I will stop now. :):):)

Guys. Guys, there is drama going on. So much that I'm aware of it in my little corner of nowhere where I hide and write silly things about librarians and twinks who can't cook and gamblers and such. I'm not going to call people out, because I don't do that unless I am very, very sure of what I am saying and absolutely certain that the people involved deserve it (and that I am ready for the backlash/shitstorm that always follows), but I have been reading it all and wow, wow. Once again the internet has forgotten that it is run by Real People.

You know, Real People. The ones who read and review stories and who create websites and yes, who also write books. Those are all Things That Are Done By Real People. (And if I need to define Real People *sigh*, then let's say that they are living, breathing people, just like you or me, with responsibilities and jobs and tissue in their pocket for their allergies and sisters who bug them about getting out of the house more and some tasty tequila and lime in the pantry calling their name. Real People...with feelings. If you prick them, do they not bleed?).

The thing with this cray internets of ours is that though it *never forgets*, it also allows for a *lot* of anonymity. And it's a hell of a lot easier to do things we wouldn't do in real life when we aren't looking someone in the eye when we do it. That includes things on both sides of this particular fence, things from potentially plagiarizing (or at least possibly just being unoriginal) to flat out publicly accusing someone of something without knowing all the facts, legal or otherwise.

It's a lot like reviews to me. Years ago when I used to review, the rule was that you *could* go intensely negative if you truly felt the book deserved it, but you had to remember when you did that it had a lasting impact on both you and the author reviewed. I'm not talking sales. I'm taking about what putting out (sometimes unwarranted) negativity does to your name and reputation and what it does to someone who may or may not have written a shitty book (or done a shitty thing) but who might have learned and developed and gotten *better* if the review had been less about being funny and harsh and more about the book itself. Sure, you can call the main characters douchebags if they are douchebags, but what exactly are you adding to the debate, to the creative process, to the community you are a part of? Not to mention that the author's reaction should always be in the back of your mind. (And if I have to explain *that* I will, but honestly, *sigh* again? That means- Did you say that to shock them? To make others laugh? Or did you really feel that, and if so, why? Please 'xplain.)

Acts, words said, thoughts posted, these things all have repercussions. You might not feel them right away in imaginary, anonymous internet-land, but they exist. Stolen ideas (whether this is the case or not) hurt readers and cost authors their audience. They create a sense of betrayal that affects not just the accused or the guilty but everyone around them, including everyone in their field. And public accusations (baseless or not) are not things to be taken lightly and certainly aren't something to be done in the heat of the moment. They can ruin careers and lives and if not that, then at the very least they can ruin someone's joy in something that *should* be joyous.

So yeah, my thoughts, such as they are. A drop in a vast ocean. OR, tl;dr--the next time you are going to write or post something on the internet, imagine you are looking in the face of the person you are writing about, and imagine they are looking back at you.